In this post I
will start to take on the my relationship to being bullied, a lot of the
bullying that happened through my school years has become a very big part of
who I have accepted and allowed myself to become. I have a hard time bringing
up these memories they are suppressed quite well and I made a realization today
that I have very much become my own bully. Bullies get real mean if you go to
tell on them, not only am I going to stand up to the bully I created in
separation of myself I’m going to laugh at it or rather at myself. So time for
some self forgiveness on the patterns I allow myself to perpetuate in within
the bullied personality.
Bully: an aggressive person who intimidates or mistreats
weaker people.
Bull-lies: (word play) ideas in the mind about other people
consciously trying to do harm.
Bully: (re-definition) the perpetuating of abuse on any or all
life through learned, accepted and allowed behavior.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to super
impose the idea of being a bully onto other people in my mind in separation of
myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not
fully realize the bull-lies I create about other people in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
being bullied by other people, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
moving myself in a way that would make me susceptible to being bullied.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bully
myself into not exposing my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let the
mind in separation of myself bully me into not responsibly moving because I
know if I become more effective I will have more time to share myself and
expose myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep
myself safe in self interest from being bullied while creating bull-lies in the
mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify
lack of self responsible movement to the fact I had been bullied in the past
thus making myself less than my past experiences of being bullied.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
any attempt from another to direct me to an emotional experience of fear
through participating with bull-lies.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge
the word bully with a negative value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge
the word bully as negative, bad or wrong within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
separate myself from the word bully through judging the word bully as negative,
bad or wrong.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
the word bully to criticism.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge
the word criticism with a negative value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
separate myself from the word criticism through judging the word criticism as
negative, bad or wrong.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have
not fully investigated myself as a bully.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
a memory of me being cornered by a man showing rage and threatening me at age 7
to an emotional experience of fear and violence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on
to a memory of me being cornered by a man showing rage and threatening me while
experiencing fear and violence.
When and as I see myself participating in the idea of others
being a bully I stop and I breathe. I realize that from my own experience
bullying comes from separation of self as if it were not really you doing it
making the impulse to do so bigger than us.
I commit myself to stop judging others as being a bully in my
mind so that I may communicate clearly from a starting point of consideration
and understanding.
When and as I see myself thinking about what others would say
in relation to me expressing myself I stop and breathe. I realize I am just
trying to protect myself in self interest in separating myself from reality
keeping myself enslaved to the mind.
I commit myself to stop thinking about what others would say
about something I would express and simply be sure in myself that I am
expressing myself in consideration of what is best for all.
When and as I see myself hesitating to share I stop and I breathe.
I realize this hesitating comes from lack of self trust and not realizing I can
only change and become effective through practice in the physical.
I commit myself to stop participating in fear of sharing so
that I may free myself to move responsibly to stand up for life.
When and as I see myself justifying lack of self movement and
discipline through memories and blaming the past I stop and breathe. I realize I
have been using lack of self discipline from my past to justify lack of self discipline
now and only I can walk myself out of this pattern.
I commit myself to stop blaming my past for what I have
accepted and allowed myself to become and direct myself to become more
effective so that I may indeed become a trust worthy being.
When and as I perceive another acting as a bully I stop and
breathe. I realize this comes from fear of judgment and judging others as well.
I commit myself to stop imposing bull-lies onto other people
and so that I may see who I am within any given moment and be self honest about
how I am moving myself.
I commit myself to fully investigate my own acts of bullying
so that I can become a trust worthy being that can create stability in our
shared reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment