Day2 Sex on a pedistal

    I have been observing myself building up energy towards the opposite sex lately when I’m out and about and its very much due to so much time putting sex upon a pedestal. I have seen this desire for sex as weakness for a long time and see how I try to hide this weakness from myself. Here I'll use the tools of self forgiveness to deconstruct sexual desire and to become self directive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself the weakness of desiring sex as this desire causes much separation between me and the opposite sex and as future projections and past experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of being caught desiring a woman and making both the woman and myself uncomfortable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to at times not be able to see a woman as life and who she is because I can’t see past the desire being reflected back at me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see me as less than due to energy build ups when around the opposite sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how good of a sexual partner a woman would be based on their appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an alternate reality while imagining how a certain woman’s  body would feel pressed against my own.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my sexual desire by not being too picky with what a woman looks like thus creating a superiority as ego to other males and hiding myself from and justifying the weakness of sexual desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in self judgement as I indulge in utter self disgust towards an image that flashed in my mind of touching a woman sexually as she approached me to talk today, as this image shocked me I jumped inside myself as the weakness of my sexual desires can no longer be ignored.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of not being able to purge myself of and as sexual energy/desire. (4 count breath here to stabilize self).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the total possession as sexual energy I become as it suppresses self expression and who I am as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place sexual experience as more than life and greater than other experiences instead of realizing every moment as equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as wanting to impress a female with how good I can make her feel with sex so I can be seen as worthy of walking with in this life and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be with a woman who would improve my self image and the way others see me.

I commit myself to no longer exist as desire for sex, or allow sexual images or energy to suppress me and direct me; and instead be here as equal and one to all life.

I commit myself to be here as breath aware as breath and continue the work necessary to release myself from the prison of the mind.

I commit to further observe myself so I can stop any sexual thoughts/imagery and do further self forgiveness if required.

I commit myself to no longer have a need for a woman to show myself as worthy to others or myself as all are equal as life.

I commit myself to not let others possible perceived assumptions suppress my self expression and not try to guess about what they see in me.