Here I continue
walking my relationship with commitment to self honestly look at how I abdicate
my responsibility to life. I’ve come to realize a little cage I put myself in
with a statement I have attached to commitment “death is a big commitment”
since I don’t see suicide as an option I see myself as trapped here and of
course since I was born I am condemned to death so I have no choice there
either and in this I pass blame onto the two that brought me here, ‘it’s not my
choice to be here’.
Note how many
times I say the word I in all these statements showing the absolute separation from
life that I exist in
as the I of the beholder that pass judgment as an ego. The mind has absolutely
become my own little self created cage and only I can walk myself out. Of
course I would not be able to walk out if I was not able to see how I trap
myself so – thank you to all my teachers, to all those sharing their insights
and suggestions, thank you to all that have been vlogging and blogging and that
are walking the journey to life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in anger
to abdicate my responsibility to the idea that it’s not my choice to be here. I
realize that if I continue participation with the idea of “it’s not my choice to
be here” I will never really be ‘here’ and will continue to be directed by my
past accumulated programming.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pass
blame on my parents for putting me in a situation where I would have to take
responsibility through bringing me into this existence as I separate myself
from life through blaming the past and missing the opportunity to take
responsibility here and now as one as all life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe
this world/life is not my responsibility because I never asked to be here and
in this try to coast through this life neglecting all that is here allowing myself
to be directed through the mind as it moves me for me in separation from myself
through automated reactions to my environment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anxiety
with the idea/thought “death is a big commitment” that I allow to make me feel
trapped in this reality; I see realize and understand this is a fear of facing
myself and reality as a whole and in self interest I use this fear/anxiety to
justify not taking responsibility for myself as all life equally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in separation
to believe I am trapped in this reality as I trap myself in and as a mind
limiting my free expression and self movement as in feeling trapped I do not
fully realize how I create an illusory feeling of reality closing in on me permeating
my physical body so that I do not move myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear suppressed
through anger as an ego lashing out at my apparent lack of free choice as
myself as a mind consciousness system that must die and instead of realizing
this as a simple fact that the death of myself as ego as this “I” in separation
from myself as life equal and one is inevitable – I grasp at the straws of
thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs in a desire for control and justify
not taking responsibility in and as this physical reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear
towards having to die that I created in my youth as this special being I see
myself as – needed to be preserved because I as the ego is so special.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of
loss created through my accepted and allowed separation as this special consciousness
was something I gained, built, own and have and is not in fact me as the idea
of owning something is not real and indicates separation.
Commitment statements to come…
Investigate http://desteni.org/ to learn
how to change self for the purpose of what is best for all life equally.
Investigate http://equalmoney.org/ to stop
the abuse of life on earth so all can have a dignified life.
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