Day 72 Facing self interest starting point

This will be a continuation from http://mattgusba.blogspot.ca/2012/11/day68-facing-self-interest-defenses.html

I have been directed by my desire to redeem myself of all the time I ‘wasted’ seeking answers. I can see this reflected in my mind creating much time wasted in future projections as I plot and plan the actions I want to take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by a desire to have some kind of pay off for my time seeking truth consequentially not seeing the extent of the consequences that need to be walked through to stand up for life responsibly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear that I wasted my time as if my past is some kind of commodity and I want to be paid for it. The consequences for this fear are rushing to try to change myself and anxiety towards what is not getting done.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of failing to change the world which would mean to me that I wasted my life, not seeing realizing and understanding the mess I’ve created in self interest and shifting between negative and positive polarity as I judge myself according to perceived consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of exposing my self-interest as an ego trying to save the world, as I walk on eggshells trying to save the world but trying not to look like I’m trying to save the world, in this I see realize and understand that I have been playing a game of deception with myself in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not fully realize what it means to stand up as a self responsible example within the equality equation and actually move myself without being directed by self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in negative self judgment towards wasting time in self sabotage through having my starting point be one of self interest, I see realize and understand now the true nature of deception I have been existing as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in self interest as a desire to be seen doing something about the world to create a positive self image instead of applying myself as the living word, living as responsibility equal and one as the physical.

I commit myself to stop being moved by self interest as need, want and desire to be paid with results of positive self image and bring myself here as breath checking to see if anything is moving me to be clear that my starting point is always what is best for all, in this I see realize and understand I am training myself to move without self interest which requires extensive re-education.

I commit myself to stop existing in the past viewing time I have spent as a commodity - viewing myself as what I have done and been through; any time I spend time in the mind viewing my past search for answers will be a reminder to be here in the moment equal and one as breath as I will know I would be being directed by self interest as opposed to self direction.

I commit myself to stop the deception of ignoring my self-interest in trying to save the world and desiring some positive outcome for myself as an ego so I can stop using and abusing others and all life, in this I commit myself to becoming self-responsibly here as breath so I can give what has been given to me and not just consume. Here I take a stand to stop the separation through participating with the idea of my time – till here no further.

 

Investigate http://desteni.org/ find out what it means to stand as a responsible being that stands up for life.

http://equalmoney.org/ Lets place value on life with equal money.