Day 54 The wall/out there

     What’s stopping me… this fear… this imaginary wall keeping me in check, not letting me be me. What is it? Let’s look at its dynamics and find out what I’m doing. The wall seems to be projected out there between myself and other people; obviously the wall is in myself… in my mind. It is a desire to project an idea I have about myself. It is a reflection of how I see other people and how they will judge me. It’s my wall; it keeps me safe. If I look out into the room I can sense it between me and my brother. I can even almost see it and begin to give it color. It’s a little difficult to realize because I don’t understand the mechanics of it and I want to know the ‘why’ but the wall is resistance created by the desire to project myself. I can’t really put me out there. IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD! As for the ‘why’ I don’t really care. This is as much as I will realize about the wall… at least for now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an imaginary wall of resistance by projecting an idea of myself out there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project an idea/belief of myself that’s an illusory facsimile created through desired outcome.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project an idea of out there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not fully realize it’s all in the mind… the wall, fear of judgment, the idea of myself, the idea of other people and what they are thinking and the idea that anything is out there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of letting go of a belief of out there when I can just simply be here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in feeding the mind energy to create an imaginary wall of resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create future projections of myself creating a desired effect on other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as desire to affect other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project/create judgment, beliefs and ideas about other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear so as to create an illusory wall off protection to keep me safe from judgment and to keep or make it easier to get what I want from other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as lack of self expression through fear of judgment and fear of others emotional expression towards what I express… or what it is that I do.

I commit myself to stop creating resistance through projecting an idea of myself and stop the desires for certain outcomes, if I project myself in an alternate reality I shake it off, I say “no” and I breathe myself back to reality here in the physical.

I commit myself to stop the separation through creating an out there, stop filtering reality through judgment and stop creating conceptions of other people so as to stop keeping each other in check, to stop the enslavement to the mind created limitations.

I commit myself to stop feeding the mind energy through anxiety and fear towards judgment so as to express myself freely and I commit myself to express myself without a desired outcome; I breathe ‘here and I express in self direction.

I commit myself to become fully aware of myself as a being simply taking responsibility for our shared existence to bring about a world that is best for all and becoming capable of seeing this responsibility manifested in the physical.

Investigate http://desteni.org/ and learn the tools of self forgiveness.

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