Day52 My penis is not my friend

     Here I will further investigate my relationship to sex going into what in the past is still being held on to. Not too long ago I was often repeating the words “my penis is not my friend” indicating regret in being directed by sexual desire. In the regret of choices I made in sexual desire I realize I have connected sex to being evil or harmful and regard sex as something I cannot be responsible with. I connect sex to my current consequential situation as well as creating consequences for others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the act of sex to sexual desire seeing realizing and understanding that it is being directed through sexual desire that cause harmful consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create future projections of giving into sexual desire that lead into causing harmful consequences and having another being become resentful of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as guilt and regret towards giving into sexual desire that lead to many actions directed through emotions that would just spin out of control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anxiety as I live in the memory of a chain of events that seem overwhelmingly insane, I would give into desire and then would be controlled through empathy directed by my emotions and the showing of emotions from who I was with. The insanity started in one relationship and continued on in another consuming my entire adult life leaving no happy endings for anyone. The insanity almost killed me and I often wished it did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to energetically participate in past picture/memory of in the heat of the moment sex seeing myself aggressively out of control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in self judgment; disgusted with how insane I was in certain memories of high energetically charged sexual direction.

I will no longer accept and allow myself as regret towards being directed in sexual desire as the catalyst for my undesirable existence and stop participating with the negative relationship to sex that I have created.

I further commit myself to stop all participation with sexual images in the mind so I can remain ‘here’ aware of and as breath.

I commit myself to stop the participation as anxiety towards the insanity that has been my life, if there is any detection of participating with the past I apply self forgiveness and a nice cleansing breath.

 

Investigate http://desteni.org/ and learn the tools of self forgiveness.

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