Day38 Fall of the energy addict

     Trying to find my energy fix I seem to have set myself up for a crash, no choice if I am to move forward but to apply some self honesty. Let’s deconstruct the fall.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a relationship and all that I imagine would come with it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in separation from the physical as I imagine an easier life that is moving forward with a relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stand on my word and commitment to stop the desire for sex. I realize it can start with a simple imagined kiss as memory and future projections then one imagination leads to another J

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mourn an imagined loss of a possibility for a relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as self interest in desiring to be ‘normal’ and considering giving up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into the minds energy allowing it to build within a state of withdrawal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anxiety towards the thought of no chance of having a relationship with a woman. I realize the separation here as the desire takes me away from being here in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my needs wants and desires are still present within me and as me even if I spend some time not being directed by need want and desire. I realize I have been missing my mind energy fix and fear a quiet unconnected/non-separated self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear that I’m missing something when I am simply ‘here’ without any mind energy influencing me. I realize this started when I stopped feeding energy to myself as an observer character.

I commit myself to get to know myself as a physical being, quiet without the minds energy intimate with myself ‘here’ in the physical.

I commit myself to stop the self interest of needs, want and desires utilizing self forgiveness understanding my journey to life is something I’ve already argued with myself about and I know where it leads.

I commit myself when faced with possibility to not go into future projection and not entertain possible outcomes, I direct myself according to what is best for all in the moment.

 

Investigate http://desteni.org/ and learn the tools of self forgiveness.

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