Day44"Not that it matters anyway"

     I realize that I have a tendency to see a task done in the mind creating a future projection of a task already done and in this I often do not move to start the task so I’m going to correct this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create future projections of tasks being or having been done.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anxiety when considering a task and wanting it done already or quicker than it will actually take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the back chat “it doesn’t matter” I see this back chat is really quiet in the back of the mind almost like it does not come up in words, of course how can anything really matter in my own little word in the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not fully realize the abdication of my self responsibility to the ‘nothing matters’ programming, it’s easy to see looking back at my past that ‘nothing really matters’ has been part of me for a long time. This was even pointed out to me before by another as I was likened to eeyore “not that it matters anyways”.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be a care taker of this shared physical reality while I’m here.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself as equal as one, to live as ‘it all matters’ as I am here and am not just going to wait around to die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously participate with illusory barriers in the way of moving responsibly in and as the physical.

I commit myself to when I realize a task will be or should be done if anything moves inside of me I stop, I take a deep breath and I move myself.

I commit myself to take on more responsibility step by step, breath by breath pushing through resistance with the time I have, realizing changing myself is a process that requires real self movement in real time in the physical.

I commit myself to slow down and realize when I am abdicating myself to the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind whether I realize the specifics or not and use the consideration of what is best for all as a reference/guide.

 

Investigate http://desteni.org/ to learn how to change self for the purpose of what is best for all life equally.

Investigate http://equalmoney.org/ to stop the abuse of life on earth so all can have a dignified life.