Day 11 The angry single parent

I see a lot of focus on parenting from desteni and for good reason. I get a lot of pat on the backs for being a single dad but I am far from being the best father I can be. Truth is I don’t want to face the facts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anger towards my limitations as a single father in existing as this anger I only create more limitations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anxiety towards not writing do to the fact that I am failing as father and don’t want to face it as I have spent the last couple days loosing patience with my kids.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize compassion without action is useless and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of being called out for my BS wich I can remain safe from as long as I don’t call out others BS.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see every pat on the back for being a single father as proof of how F’d up our society is and every pat on the back for spending time with my kids is just proof of how odd it is.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anger towards thoughs with out kids that would speak about parenting as this takes focus off the facts and the fact is everyone has had a chance to see the effect parenting has had on them.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue on as if I can be an effective parent without help when it’s not true, and not taking advantage of classes offered by government and not taking advantage of possible support from people I know and not using the words “I need help”.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize when my kids are hard to handle and cry for more and more it is due to the way I have raised them and allowed others to affect/raise them and it will take time to undo the damage done.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that parents who do not take responsibility need help to realize that kids often, if not always disregard the parent not there for them when they grow up, as my father who tries to have a relationship with me now is hardly considered and has a hard time getting any help from me or my brother. Just last night my dad asked for my brother to take him to the hospital and was told to take a cab.

I commit myself to become as effective a father as I can by taking advantage of help available and admitting that I can’t raise the best children without help.

 I commit myself to change myself to stop giving into the demands of my children to go do what they want instead of doing what needs to be done for them to grow up as responsible human beings that do not place fun experience above responsible living adding to the morrons that live by the words “we are here for a good time not a long time”.

 I commit myself to write self forgiveness every night regardless of how I feel about facing myself, realizing I don’t have to share everything and I can write myself out on paper if I don’t have use of my computer.

 I commit myself to not let anxiety slow me and to move through my self created limitations within the real limitations of space/time to the best possible outcome for all life equally realizing effective parenting is crucial.

I commit myself to take on- in time- any BS shown to me about myself or I can clearly see in others and we can all have a good cry about it, but all the abuse in this world must be dealt with and I realize the proverbial slap in the face I get from desteni is just what myself and the world needs to wake the hell up.

Investigate http://desteni.org/ to learn how to change self for the purpose of what is best for all life equally.

Investigate http://equalmoney.org/ to stop the abuse of life on earth so all can have a dignified life.