day21 hop up

As I see myself slowly start to slide and not living my commitments, this sliding I can see will quickly become an excuse in itself as I can define myself as not able to stand and as I see myself starting to slide I remember my wrestling coach said something that has stuck with me ever since, after slamming me down crashing onto the mat; just two words "hop up".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slide and not stand as my commitment statements and in this I realize any sliding does not have to go any further than becoming aware of the fact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not fully realize the moment/thought/emotion that I stop standing as my commitment statements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately create windows of opportunity to give into desires through participating in past illusory pictures that separate me from the physical for the sake of self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as guilt towards giving into and participating in alternate reality picture presentations of sexual encounters and creating a negative ego towards not standing as my sexual desire commitment statements, I realize this as a result of creating a positive ego charge towards the time I was standing as before I put sex on a pedestal only to end up putting deleting my sexual desire on a pedestal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as ego defining myself as better or worse depending on weather I am standing or not.

I commit myself to "hop up" asap when I see myself not standing and live the words hop up until I am standing as my commitment statements and hoping up is no longer required.

I commit myself to not give in as ego over some imagined victory over a point of self forgiveness and not put any points I take on –on a pedestal.

I further my commitment to stop participating in alternate picture realities such as sexual encounters and continue to use self forgiveness to delete them until I am stable ‘here’ in every breath.

　

　

　

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