day 15 self pitty in process character

     Please be aware of me I don’t want to do this for nothing, no more can I hide from myself lost in myself as myself, it’s hard; at least it feels that way. Sad so sad- everything is against me.

     This self pitty character has got to go.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in separation from the world as I count on it to change instead of realizing that it is up to me to take responsibility for my own change.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in separation as a desire- for some kind of reward like making some kind of impact on the world even just a sign. If I did get this reward it would just feed the addiction of desire for reward tarnishing slowing and damaging my process of change as it gives me an energy fix causing me to crash when I don’t get it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be pulled down by energy as sadness in a need want and desire to not take responsibility for myself to stand up for all life equally, in this I see this is just self interest separating myself from the whole of reality entertaining the thought that I could just go back to looking out for number one as if I had a choice.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be pulled down by energy as sadness at the prospect of loss of choice as I see I have no choice but to face myself as who I am weather I change or not. I can only add more layers of suppression wich would just be an altered me that I have to face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in separation as a need want and desire for process to be easy not seeing that It’s only as hard as I allow it to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as separate from the process of change instead of being one and equal to process.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as fear of commitment statements as I can’t know at this moment if I will live the commitment statements or if they will be good enough to say I am standing for ‘what is best for all life equally’.

 I commit myself to stand as myself as a world in and as change, no longer in need of reward, equal and one with the movement of change, in my actions in self direction not as fear direction.

I commit myself to realize the moment of sadness towards having to take responsibility for change with no choice but to face myself, I stop I breath and realize what will change and walk it in time with self forgiveness and commitment and repeate until it is done where I stand stable in this reality standing for all life equally in every breath till all are free or death claims me.

 I commit myself to walk my commitment statements even if it requires repeating self forgiveness and new commitment statements weather it requires new adjustments or tweeking or new realization working myself as responsibility chiping away at the stone until all that remains is a being that stands up for ‘what is best for all’.

Do not investigate http://desteni.org/ you will have no choice but to take responsibility for all life on earth and yourself as your participation in it,run away! It’s to late for me SAVE YOUR SELF!

Do not investigate http://equalmoney.org/ to stop the abuse of life on earth so all can have a dignified life. Just accept capitalism its comfortable your used to it, it must be the only way, people deserve to be rich while others suffer from starvation, food is not a rite for everyone and “there will always be haves and have nots”.