Day30 "I don't like myself" character

     I’m going to look at who I am today, what in the past I have allowed to define me. Things that stick out are my certain dreams, I used to day dream a lot; some of these visions stick out a lot, then there are things that happened for real, times when people are being mean seam to stick out as well as the times when I was doing good things for others. Interesting that things others do that are good for me or were showing acts of kindness do not stick out so much I guess I don’t dwell on the good stuff. You know what; it is the actions when I was not so nice or was mean that cause most reaction in myself these are the times that flash in my mind with the most intensity and these memories are the ones I will most quickly look away from so that is what I will take on.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within past memories of not being nice when I made a choice in self gratification where I would like to test out my ‘evil side’, choices made within the idea that nothing really matters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just give up inside when a past memory pops up of some time when I did someone wrong or was simply not considering another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into past memories of times when I would make an ‘evil choice’ inside my secret mind and enjoying the fact that no one would know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify giving up on myself and existence in a moment of remembering ‘evil’ I have done both in the mind and for real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as negative self image in relation to ‘evil’ I have participated in; in both the mind and the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate as negative self image towards ‘evil’ in memories to limit my self expression and self movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the back chat “I don’t like myself” I realize I exist as a negative self image towards my own evil thoughts, acting mean or inaction due to self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I had created an ‘I do not like myself’ character that separates me from the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I use the ‘I do not like myself’ character to try to protect others from myself, this indicates I am existing in the past and do not trust myself to do what is best for me and who ever I am interacting with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the ‘I do not like myself’ character; to just fade away giving short answers like “nothing” until I am left alone.

I commit myself to stop existing as negative self image created by past memories when I acted or thought ‘evil’ or ‘not nice’ realizing what I’ve done does not define who I am but who I am determines what I do.

I commit myself to trust myself in any given moment that I can and will act in consideration of ‘what is best for all’.

I no longer will accept this ‘I do not like myself ‘character, now that I see it for what it is I can say “till here no further”.

I continue my commitment to be rid of the secret mind so I will no longer have any possibility to deceive anyone.

 

Investigate http://desteni.org/ and learn the tools of self forgiveness.

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